The Secret Love of the Waverly Wizard
by Sailorpipn
Summary: When did it start? When exactly had he started looking at his annoying, spoiled, bratty, impulsive, adventurous, funny, dedicated, talented, beautiful, little sister as more than that, as a woman. Jalex
1. Chapter 1

Title: **The Secret Love of the Waverly Wizard** part 1 of ?  
Rating: R/ M just to be on the safe side  
Pairing/Characters: Alex/Justin – Jalex, other characters  
Warnings: AU and I'm sure I'll think of more

Summary: _When did it start? When exactly had he started looking at his annoying, spoiled, bratty, impulsive, adventurous, funny, dedicated, talented, beautiful, little sister as more than that, as a woman._

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Wizards of Waverly Place. Goddess I wish!

Chapter 1

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There was this sick thing between them. It was something that never should have started but now he couldn't stop it, or wouldn't stop it. Sometimes he wasn't sure which his reason was. Most days he felt like his choice had been taken away from him; that living without her would be like living without air or water or bread. She was living. But then some days when the guilt washed over him anew, he knew that he chose this sin that was condemning them both to hell.

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When did it start? When exactly had he started looking at his annoying, spoiled, bratty, impulsive, adventurous, funny, dedicated, talented, beautiful, little sister as more than that, as a woman. He couldn't remember the exact moment because it really had been more of a gradual thing.

As his little sister, he had always had the authority to laugh at her whether she wanted him to or not. He remembers laughing when she struggled to learn to tie her shoes or zipper her coat. He remembers how much it frustrated him when he'd try to help her and she would purposely mess up, like singing a b f r e l g when going up and down the stairs in the substation. He would keep correcting her and would only laugh at her antics later when he was sure he was alone. It was when they were older that they could laugh together. In contrast to their childhood, if he really thought about it though, it was more Alex laughing at him, or criticizing him which then led her to laughing at him. Not that they had a bad brother, sister relationship, because they didn't. It was what worked for them, what made their relationship special, different than what they had with Max or their parents or friends. And after 20 years of it, well, Justin was used to it. It was comfortable, reliable and he loved it, loved her for it.

Alex has always been dedicated – dedicated to driving him out of his mind. The majority of the time she did it unconsciously, annoying him with little things like sleeping late and roaming the halls at school instead of going to class. He worked so hard and she just skated through life. And then there was when she called him bozo and other colorful names every chance she had, or when she palled around with his friends, or got away with everything and wrapped their dad around her little finger. She was also dedicated to getting into trouble. Lucky for her, he was dedicated to getting her out of it.

Justin would need his hands and feet and maybe every hair on his head to count the times that Alex had gotten into a bad situation and he'd bailed her out. There was the time when she had taken then train car out of the substation and traveled around the subway. She'd nearly gotten killed. His heart had stopped when he'd realized what she'd done and he swears every minute she was gone, was taken off his life.

He'd also covered for her when she went to her first drinking party. She'd snuck out for probably the millionth time and crashed the party for graduating seniors. He was still genuinely astounded that it was the first drinking party that she'd gone to, considering her track record. Surprisingly, it was not the first party that Justin had attended, being a senior after all, but being the good son he was, he'd never imbibed anything stronger than a soda. And it was a good thing for Alex that he held himself to this moral code because he'd been clear headed when he'd carried her home and then held her hair back when she lost the contents of her stomach. He was pretty sure their parents knew what happened that night but assumes that after seeing their baby girl so sick, let the case drop. She'd been punished enough.

And then there was the time that trumped all others, when she had wished their parents had never met. They had almost died, almost ceased to exist. To Justin, the latter seemed worse because no one would have remembered them, mourned them. They would have been nothing.

Ugh, and on top of it all, she'd won the wizard competition!

But Alex was talented, or at least lucky enough to win. After all he'd been studying longer than she and he'd always studied a lot harder. The thought of losing to her again in the future, actually made him feel ill. So when they had gotten back to NY, he had thrown himself into his magic, focusing on elemental magic to make up for what he already knew. But nothing had changed for Alex. Instead, she worked on her mortal skills. He'd come back from his alien language club and hear her practicing her drums. And she spent more time working on her foliage and art. Admittedly, she'd gotten pretty good at both. Maybe she knew the future battle wasn't going to be like the last, maybe this time around she knew trying was futile and just accepted it. Really, it had just been a fluke that she'd won the first time and she knew that was the truth. And as long as Max didn't actually grow a brain, Justin knew the magic would be his.

But working on other skills had a positive effect on Alex. She worked a little harder in school (their parents wouldn't get her new art supplies if she didn't and it's not like she'd spend the little money she eared waitressing) and managed to get her grades to mostly b's with a couple c's mixed in. Except for Spanish, she could never get better than a d in Spanish. She admittedly cheated on the Spanish Regents but her teacher let it side, rather than have her repeat the class. It was her better grades and her official membership in the Happy Helpers Club, though she never attended, that got her into college in the city. She would still live with their parents but planned on going to class four days a week. Or at least they hoped she would go to class.

If he were forced to admit it, he always thought of his sister as beautiful. He had watched her grow up, seen her through the gawky stages. There was the time when she had been obsessed with glasses because some star on TV needed them; she'd been maybe eleven at the time. But it was before her face had lost all of its chubbiness and her eyes had been too big for her head. And she would wear such large glasses that her forehead seemed to vanish, making her look more like a bug than a girl. And while Alex wasn't a tall young woman, he couldn't say girl anymore, she had had a growth spurt soon after her quinceanera. All of her pants were suddenly too short, the same with the sleeves on her tops. And it had taken a few days and a new wardrobe to get used to the added height. The best part was when she knocked her head on the pipe when she went to the basement. Justin had laughed for hours over that. And then she had hexed him.

But now at 18 she is beautiful. Guy's eyes follow her wherever she goes and Justin has caught himself staring at her a little too much the last few times he's been home from college. Her features are soft even with the angularity of her face. Her eyes are sharp and there is a confident air around her that only comes from being Alex Russo.

Sometimes, Justin thinks this change in how he looks at her wasn't gradual. Sometimes he thinks it was going off to school that made everything so different. That not seeing her every day, not seeing the zits or suffering the pms, and not having to suffer the competition between them, changed everything. When he came home for Thanksgiving his freshman year it was like he didn't know her. Yes, they fell back into their bickering routine easily but when he went back to his dorm room a few days later, he wanted to text and email Alex, not the little sister he'd had all his life and the person she had still been at the end of summer. No he wanted Alex, the woman, whose tops always showed a little less much skin to be considered indecent but made his mouth water for more. He wanted the Alex who he was capable of having a real conversation with because she wasn't dumb and didn't pretended to be in order to get a guy. The Alex, who used paintbrushes to hold up her hair instead of chopsticks; who would actually start a book and finish it, the woman who had goals and worked towards them. She had become an adult.

And she was legal…

She was going to be his.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: **The Secret Love of the Waverly Wizard** part 2 of ?  
Rating: R/ M just to be on the safe side  
Pairing/Characters: Alex/Justin – Jalex, other characters  
Warnings: AU, incest, and I'm sure I'll think of more  
Summary: _When did it start? When exactly had he started looking at his annoying, spoiled, bratty, impulsive, adventurous, funny, dedicated, talented, beautiful, little sister as more than that, as a woman. _  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Wizards of Waverly Place. Goddess I wish!

--

An extra special thanks to Applepips16 on livejounal for being an awesome beta and helping me out!

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School was starting in a week and Justin was eager to get back to it. He missed his dorm and his friends. Hell, he even missed some of his professors. He was ready to get back to work. As nice as the summer had been, relaxing for three months straight had been boring.

His parents had hired another waiter when Justin had graduated (even though Jerry said it shortened his life to pay someone other than family to work for them). But they had to since they knew Alex could only be counted on to actually work half her shifts and Justin wouldn't be there to pick up the slack. Anton was a nice guy and seemed to have serving in his blood, more than actually coming from being born into a sub shop owning family that is. He would open in the mornings and when Justin would come in for his afternoon shift, well, he _just_ wasn't needed.

To be honest, Justin wasn't sure how to react to that. His whole family had always counted on him. But now his parents had Anton and while Justin didn't feel replaced it was hard to spend time with his parents when they worked most of the day. If he hung around when he was off, he felt like he was in the way. Max had always looked up to him but he was sixteen now, and had finally moved past thinking Russo's Sticky Strips were an original idea. He took his shifts seriously, after all lots of cute girls would come in when he worked.

And Alex…

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The alarm seemed extra loud this morning. He had stayed up watching another one of those sorority horror movies that were somehow still popular even though they were up to 6 or 7 sequels. Throw in some ice cream and Justin hadn't fallen asleep till after 3 in the morning. Stretching, he sat up and heard a few small pops in his shoulders and a crack when he twisted his neck. He ran a hand through his hair and then headed to the kitchen. He needed some coffee to really wake up. When he reached the top of the stairs, he noticed music coming from downstairs. His mom did like to cook listening to music but that was when she made her cheese surprise, not when making breakfast. Still he called out, "Morning Mom," when he reached the last step.

However it was not his Mom in the kitchen.

He got that flippy flop feeling in his stomach when he heard her laugh and made a point of looking at the floor instead of her as he continued to the table.

"Morning dummy. Mom went out an hour ago with Dad, something about a breakfast date. Isn't that gross? Max and Anton are downstairs setting up."

He felt her eyes on him as he sat down heavily on a stool. He didn't look up when he heard her rummage through the cabinets or the refrigerator. But he did meet her gaze when she dropped a mug in front of him. A mug of steaming coffee. He reached for the mug only to have her tug it away and a playful grin split her face.

Why did she have to tease him this morning? He growled out a quick spell freezing the mug where it was and grabbed it from her. Raising it to his lips for the blessed first sip, he heard her snort.

"Great it's poisoned, isn't it?" he asked, putting it back down on the table.

"Yup."

He watched her for a moment, watched as she went back to her food and shoveled eggs into her mouth like a truck driver. She barely took a moment to breath before taking another bite and then another. It didn't take long for her plate to be empty and then he watched her do something she didn't do often enough; she put the plate in the sink. When she turned back to him, she saw he still hadn't drunk anything.

"Oh, don't be a baby. I didn't do anything to your precious coffee." She said as she walked past him and bumped her shoulder into his.

It had been a mistake to not wear a shirt down to breakfast. Even though she was wearing one and her skin never actually touched his, his skin burned. Immediately he sucked in a cool breath of air to offset the heat he now felt. She looked at him funny when she heard him breathe in but didn't say anything.

Justin's head spun; it wasn't harsh enough to warrant him fleeing the room but enough for him to lean forward on the table. Not caring anymore, he drank from the mug in large gulps. Surprisingly, it tasted perfect. It was exactly how he would have made it himself. with a lot of milk and a little sweetener. He felt foolish for the way he acted and wanted to go back to bed. He was tempted to go back to his room, especially since his parents weren't home and not there to question his actions but instead he emptied his mug and went to the couch. He could eat later.

He sat down on the end and laid his legs across the couch even though Alex was there. He waited for her to yell about his feet being near her but she didn't say anything so he dug his toes under her thigh and got comfortable. She raised an eyebrow in his direction but still didn't say anything. To compromise, he handed her the remote without complaint.

They sat there for a while, neither speaking, nor really paying attention to the TV. And of course, Justin had to mess it up.

"So, ready for school?" he didn't have to look at her to know she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah. I am _so_ excited. I ordered all my books in July, finished reading them already, and got extra highlighters and sticky notes, so I'm ready for the first day. Oh, wait that's you." She giggled a bit and snorted once. The couch seemed to laugh with heras she didn't respond, instead he turned his attention back to the TV. They watched another string of commercials before he heard her mumble.

"Were you nervous when you started?"

Justin reached forward and let his hand brush hers as he turned the TV off. Like his shoulder earlier, his hand tingled at the touch. He knew he had her full attention even though she refused to look at him.

"Yes I was. Don't you remember how sick I was before moving into the dorm? I couldn't eat for days."

"I thought it was because Max put mayo on his peanut butter and jelly." She responded, trying to break the serious moment she had started.

"I was worried about everything," he continued, not responding to her joke. "I was scared I'd fail all my classes or that my teachers would hate me. And I had to get used to a new roommate. Although after living with you and Max, living with anyone else is a piece of cake." Alex glared at him quickly before turning her attention back on the spot on the wall she had been staring at. "But it all works out. Yes, its college but it's still just school except with much more complicated stuff to lean. And you mastered going to school or rather you mastered roaming the halls." He saw a small smile. "You'll be fine. You're Alex Russo. That's all you need to know."

She put her hand on his leg and squeezed it gently. Thank goodness he had worn long pajama bottoms he thought quickly as she went back to teasing him, her confidence restored. "Gosh you are such a girl!"

"Yeah, I know." He responded, "But I'm a girl who gives good advice. Just be yourself."

"Ugh, now you sound like mom." The tension was gone and her nerves soothed. Her eyes sparkled as she pushed his legs away from her. "Gross, I don't want your stinky feet near me."

"My feet didn't bother you for the last hour."

"Well they bother me now."

So Justin resettled himself on the couch, tucking his legs underneath him. Since she had forced him to change position this would normally be when he'd fight her for the remote but instead he just sat there content. They had had a good moment and weren't screaming at each other now. He picked at some lint on his pajamas and looked at her. Now she was paying attention to the TV, her eyes lighting up as some explosion took place on the screen.

He loved it when her eyes were lit up like that, full of life. Happily enough he was unable to think of more than a few times when her eyes weren't like that. Unlike him, she was fully dressed, which surprised him because it was before noon and Alex was never up and about before noon if she could help it. Her shorts showed too much leg, if he were to give his opinion because there was too much tanned skin on display as her slender legs were propped on the coffee table. Her top was purple. They both knew that was the color she was best, no matter the shade. Her hair was down and she had no makeup on. He liked that he got to see her like this, when she wasn't made up for the world. It was something special.

Alex turned and looked at him, a question on her face. He had been staring at her too long. Clearing his throat, he shifted on the couch and asked, "Hey you wanna do something tonight, just the two of us?"

"Can't," was all she said as she turned her attention back to the TV. After a moment she continued, "I have a date."

A rush of jealousy surged through him. Justin felt his nails pierce his skin even though he didn't remember clenching his fists. He got up.

"I leave in a week you know. When are we going to spend some time together?"

She looked at him like he was crazy, forced to turn around on the couch as he walked towards the spiral staircase. "We're together right now!" She yelled back him even though there was no anger in her voice. "What do you think this is?" she asked, making a motion between them.

"I don't know Alex. I don't know what _this_ is." And with that, he went up to his room.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: The Secret Life of the Waverly Wizard – Part 3 of ?

Rating: R/ M just to be on the safe side  
Pairing/Characters: Alex/Justin – Jalex, other characters  
Warnings: AU, incest, and I'm sure I'll think of more  
Summary: _When did it start? When exactly had he started looking at his annoying, spoiled, bratty, impulsive, adventurous, funny, dedicated, talented, beautiful, little sister as more than that, as a woman. _  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Wizards of Waverly Place. Goddess I wish!

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An extra special thanks to Applepips16 for being an awesome beta and helping me out!

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AN: I live on Long Island, part of NY. I do go into NYC often enough. BUT I am one of the most directionally challenged people in the world so I couldn't pick a destination in the city. I'm not sure if there are clubs in the warehouse district or even if there is a warehouse district. It sounds familiar but who knows…

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T minus thirteen hours, 7 minutes and 53, 52, 51 seconds until Justin would be leaving for school. He had a little more than half a day before he'd be back on the train to Philadelphia and away from his family. Soon he'd be alone again.

The last few days had been awkward. Alex had barely spoken to him since she wasn't sure why he'd blown up at her in the first place. And considering her 'less work the better attitude', she hadn't really cared to take the time and figure out what had his panties in a twist. Those were her words not his, as the one time she had spoken to him was on her way out the door to meet her date Carson and she had said just that – "I don't care what's got your panties in a twist, just get out of the way." When they were both in the substation or the loft they didn't look at each other. Justin felt for their parents who were walking on eggshells around them, confused as what had come between their elder children this time.

So needless to say, he was surprised after four days of not talking, when she knocked on his door and invited him out. Actually it wasn't so much an invitation as an order considering all she said was, "Come on," and pointed towards the door. Still, it was all she had to say for him to jump out of bed and leave his Vulcan to English dictionary behind.

Sure going out with her involved seeing Harper but Alex assured him that she was over her crush and had been for a while. Apparently going to zombie prom with Zeke had opened her eyes to other guys and now Harper had been going out with some Cody guy for about six months. This still didn't stop her rambling like crazy and doing that weird laugh of hers when she first spotted him at the substation. But then she linked fingers with her boyfriend and pretty much left him alone after that. And Cody seemed like a pretty cool guy. He calmed her down a bit and even like her kiwi themed outfit.

The four of them then headed out, taking the subway to some location Alex refused to share. Justin panicked a little when they went back up to street level and discovered they were in the warehouse district. He could hear music blasting nearby. Justin was shocked to see Harper lead the way through the alleys and sometimes through people. Briefly he thought that she and Alex had switched brains again because there was no way the Harper he'd known at Tribeca Prep would be leading them to some rave. But Alex seemed to nod every time Harper made them change directions and he realized they had just done this before.

There was a decent sized line forming at the door but something like other people waiting patiently for their turn to enter, didn't stop Alex. She walked straight to the front of the line, ignoring glares and a few voiced protests. More probably, she did it to get that reaction. Justin felt his eyes go wide when his little sister wrapped her arm around the bouncer's wide waste and stand up on her tip toes to speak to him. She had a coy grin on her face and, Justin wasn't sure, but maybe a twenty in her hand. The broad man smiled back at her and moved the rope blocking their entrance. Harper and Cody went in first. When Justin hesitated, Alex grabbed his hand and dragged him in.

Justin had gone to parties and bars in college but they were nothing like this. Sure those parties had loud music but now he was wishing he'd brought ear plugs. He could feel the pounding of the bass all through his body. It almost kept up with the beating of his heart that had gone out of control when Alex had taken his hand. As they moved through the crowds of people, he noticed she still hadn't let go.

He wasn't surprised when she knew people inside. They hadn't been inside more than five minutes and already fifteen or so people had come over, kissed Alex on the cheek and nodded to the rest of them. Justin felt a bad mood overwhelming him and when Alex noticed him glaring at her friends, well her male friends to be precise, she looked at him like he was crazy. Then she dropped his hand and turned to face him.

"What's your problem?" she yelled so he could hear her. "If I thought you were going to act like this I wouldn't have invited you out."

Justin shook his head in response. "I'm sorry. I'll act better."

An apology seemed to placate her enough. "Good. Don't embarrass me. You're leaving the city, I'm not."

Yes, Justin was leaving. He glanced at his watch which said it was after midnight. Great, less than ten hours to make sure he didn't leave with Alex mad at him. It was going to be a long night.

"You want a drink?" he asked, fishing out his wallet and id. That would be the best way to get back on her good side. It was Alex's turn to be surprised when she grabbed his license out of his wallet and looked at the date. Turning her eyes back to him, he had never seen her look at him with such pride. His fake said he was 23. And it was magically inclined to convince others that it was real. He'd broken the rules.

"Yes a beer," she responded, handing it back to him. He nodded once and headed to the bar. It took him a moment to get through all the people and get to the bar and when he was there he was rewarded with a forward wink and pushed up breasts. The bartender was young, probably a college student who used her ample assets to put herself through school.

"What can I get you sweetheart?" she asked once she had leaned over the counter enough for Justin to feel her warm breath on his cheek. Normally he didn't drink beer considering he didn't like the way it tasted. But he knew that if he went back to Alex with a 'girly' drink, her pride in his fake would vanish as quickly as she could probably chug her beer. So grudgingly he responded, "Two Buds please," putting up two fingers to make sure she heard him right.

While waiting for the drinks Justin looked over the crowd. He could see Harper and Cody dancing and he smiled. He was happy that she wasn't fawning over him. He was happy that she'd found a nice guy. After all it was still Harper and he had known her for years. Compared to what he felt for Alex, Harper filled the little sister role for him. They didn't fight all of the time and had a few interests in common. It was too bad Alex and she couldn't switch roles. Why couldn't Alex be the friend that it was perfectly acceptable to go after? No, life was never that easy. Turning back to the bar, he put a twenty down, not caring that he was over tipping. Then he headed back to Alex.

She didn't notice him coming her way so he stopped and watched her for a moment. She was leaning on the wall slightly, her foot tapping to the beat of the music, and her hips swaying back and forth. He was mesmerized by the move of her body. The music was way too loud but she made him want to dance. Moving up to her, he wrapped one arm around her waist and offered her a beer. She instantly relaxed in his arms and leaned against him, like accepting drinks from strangers was something she did regularly. Dampening his mood slightly, he realized she probably did. Her hips were still swaying and he felt his move with them. She had taken the drink from him so he rested his free hand on her hip. When she leaned back her top had slid up just a little and Justin rubbed little circles with his thumb on the skin available to him. He brought his beer up to his lips and drank heartily from it; sure from the first sip this was the only drink he'd have tonight.

It obviously surprised Alex to realize it was her brother behind her because they had danced, or more accurately swayed, for a few songs before she jumped away from him. Like earlier, she looked confused by his behavior. Justin didn't know what to say so he went with a fairly neutral, "What?"

"What? What?" Alex yelled back. If this was anywhere else they would be causing a scene but no one was even looking their direction here. "I thought you were a guy," and Justin thought, 'I am a guy.' "I thought you were someone interested in me." Now Justin was thinking and wishing that he had more guts. If only he could just respond, 'I am interested in you,' and see what she did with that information.

Instead he said, "Of course I'm interested in your safety. I'm your brother."

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" she responded and he smirked when she actually stomped her foot. He couldn't remember the last time he made her do that. "People are going to think you're a freak."

"What people? You didn't introduce me to anyone. You certainly didn't say to people, 'Hey, here's my brother Justin.'" Somehow in their arguing he'd backed her away from where they were standing. They had unconsciously moved away from the crowds of people and into some corner where people probably went to make out or do worse, without being seen too much.

"The only one who thinks I'm a freak is you," and he saw an almost smile grace her features.

"Well I've always thought you were a freak."

If she had just left it at that, Justin thought he would have been fine. Their arguing had led to some familiar banter but then she had to hit him on the arm. Hell, if she had hit him just a little higher, where his sleeve covered his arm, it probably wouldn't have continued like it did. But no, she slugged his forearm and Justin felt the heat rush through his body even though the touch had been slight and quick. Before he could stop himself, he leaned forward and captured her lips with his.

She doesn't respond, at least not initially. He expected her to push him away; she did put her hands up to his chest. It was as if she was readying herself for this to get really weird because kissing your brother wasn't weird enough already. She still wasn't moving her lips and she hadn't closed her eyes. Justin knew the second part because he hadn't closed his eyes either. He sucked on her bottom lip and then nibbled it a little. He felt her relax against him and she finally closed her eyes and kissed him back. He briefly wondered why nibbling on her lip brought him a positive response but let the question go as they continued.

He put one hand on her hip and now greedily touched her skin where her top had risen. His fingers travelled along her back and his fingers could feel the strap of her bra. Luckily he was cautious enough to know not to push her. She'd hex him immediately if he went too far and he was already pushing the limits considering everything. Their relationship was too important to him for him to do something completely unforgivable. If she hadn't started kissing him back, he'd think he was already at that point. But maybe she would chalk it up to, too much to drink, even though they'd only had one apiece.

So instead he let his hand travel south, down her leg, over her skirt. When he reached her knee, he bunched up her skirt up a bit and she responded by wrapping her leg around him. 'Damn her fishnets!' was what he'd been thinking all night but now as his fingers tickled her thigh, and as he felt the flimsy cloth, the only barrier between her skin and his touch, he could see the allure of it.

He didn't remember her pushing him away. Almost happily, he didn't remember the look of anger, confusion, and pain in her eyes. But he did remember her slapping him across the face and the pain that came with it. He remembered her escaping into the crowds of people and how she never looked back at him, even once.

Crestfallen, Justin looked at his wristwatch. Seven and a half hours until he left.

Yes, he was leaving with her mad at him.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: **The Secret Life of the Waverly Wizard** – Part 4 of ?  
Rating: R/ M just to be on the safe side  
Pairing/Characters: Alex/Justin – Jalex, other characters  
Warnings: AU, incest, underage drinking and I'm sure I'll think of more  
Summary: _When did it start? When exactly had he started looking at his annoying, spoiled, bratty, impulsive, adventurous, funny, dedicated, talented, beautiful, little sister as more than that, as a woman. _  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Wizards of Waverly Place. Goddess I wish!

An extra special thanks to Applepips16 for being an awesome beta and helping me out!

Chapter 4

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She didn't come to the train station with him the next morning. She didn't give their family a reason; she didn't even say goodbye. In fact, if Justin hadn't stayed awake the rest of the night, regretting his actions, he wouldn't have been sure if she had even come home after the club. But instead of staying at Harper's like he thought she might, she came staggering in around five am. She hadn't looked at him when she opened the loft door. Maybe Alex hadn't seen him; he had never turned on any lights when he went to sulk on the couch. Or maybe she just ignored him. Justin figured it was the latter.

When his mom had come down that morning she had smiled at him contently. Her little boy was grown up and in contrast to the year before, she didn't sob every time she looked at him. He could hear his dad moving around upstairs while his mom made breakfast. So Justin went to his room to recheck his packing.

Her door was closed, not that he expected otherwise. He stood there, staring at the door for longer than he could count. Max got up and walked behind him to the bathroom and neither male said a word. Justin was still standing there when his little brother headed back to his room. Max's door shut and Justin raised his hand to knock on Alex's. He had to. He couldn't just leave.

Slowly his arm slumped back to his side and Justin didn't have the strength to try again. His head fell forward until it hit her door with a thud. That sound was as close as he could get to trying for her attention.

The door never moved.

His mother called to him from the kitchen. He didn't have any more time. Justin went into his room and gathered his things. He had already spelled them for easy travel so they were light and easy to carry even though they were stuffed as completely as could be. He gathered his things and headed back into the hall. Again he went to her door even though it was opposite to the staircase.

"I'm not sorry I love you," he muttered softly. "But I am sorry you'll never feel the same way." Justin had no idea if she was asleep or if she could hear him even if she wasn't. Still, he had to say it, voice it, and make it real. He had to admit everything so there was no confusion even if she didn't hear him or care that he said the words.

His mother called him again so he went downstairs and left the substation.

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Thanksgiving was quiet and awkward. They had no idea of how to act around each other. And Alex would never let Justin get her alone. Not that he really tried. But it did hurt him a little more each time she'd follow someone out of a room or would go back into her and shut her door to avoid being in hallway with him. It hurt a little more when she wouldn't look at him, especially the few times they did converse. They couldn't work together. Sometimes they couldn't even eat their meals together.

They both thanked whatever deity who'd made Thanksgiving break only five days.

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Christmas was harder. They were supposed to be filled with good will and cheer though those were never words he'd associate with his sister. And he was home for more than two full weeks.

The days weren't so bad because the sub shop was busy with last minute holiday shoppers. With people coming in and out Justin barely had a minute to breath let alone talk to his sister, and that was still with the added help of Anton.

It was Christmas Eve day and Justin had made it seeing Alex a combined total of one hundred and eight minutes over the past week. There had been dinner the first night he was home when their mother insisted they get past whatever was still bothering them from Thanksgiving from the summer and have a nice family meal together. He doesn't remember ever eating faster. Funnily enough, Alex had been of a similar turn of mind and had rushed her meal as well. They had finished at about the same time and darted from the table. Alex went to Harper's and Justin to his room. Even though they had rushed, dinner had still taken an hour between setting up the table and breathing between bites. The other forty eight minutes had been 'let's walk right past each other but not acknowledge each other time.' It consisted of walking past each other in the halls, the substation, and a few times on the street. They had said maybe a dozen words to each other.

Justin was miserable. As much as he did his part to avoid Alex, all he wanted to do was sit and watch a movie with her, or bicker during a magic lesson, or hell, talk at all. He missed his little sister and didn't like the stranger in front of him.

Even in the cold weather Alex wore negligible amounts of clothing and except for the first night, she'd had a date every night he'd been home. In between bouts of jealousy that someone else was taking out the girl he loved and the protective streak he did have for his little sister, he wondered if she was going out with the same guy. He was curious because no one ever came and picked Alex up; she always met them somewhere else. Today she wore a skirt that could barely be considered such and a nice top that she'd ruined by painting in, as there was paint all over the hem.

Justin was sitting on the couch in the living room when Alex came down the spiral staircase. She went and sat at the kitchen counter and popped a sugar cookie that looked like Santa in her mouth. Their mom had spent all afternoon working on them and was not going to be happy to see Alex eating one. Instead of tattling Justin just rolled his eyes and absently fiddled with his guitar. She didn't seem to notice him staring at her. He watched her lips wrap around the cookie and watched her chew. He watched the curve of her throat as she swallowed. His mind went back to August. He could almost smell the beer spilled on the floor and taste her lips against his, the feel of her skin under his touch. Shaking his head, he banished the memories away. He cleared his throat once and her eyes darted to him. Then he couldn't completely read the emotion in her eyes. There was some annoyance, sadly a tinge of fear, and something else Justin couldn't put his finger on. For all their work at avoiding each other they were in first floor of the loft alone.

Her boots clicked on the floor as she hopped down from her chair and headed towards the couch. "So," she started, her fingers resting on the back of the couch. "How's everything?"

Justin exhaled heavily, just realizing that he'd been holding his breath. "Things are fine. How was your first semester?"

"Good. Good." She wouldn't meet his eyes. "No bolo ties, so it's better than high school already." She laughed slightly and Justin grinned in response.

"Yea that was the first thing I noticed at Drexel."

And that was it. After everything and not speaking to each other for so long, _that_ was their conversation. Alex darted out of the living room almost as soon as Justin stopped speaking, taking the stairs two at a time. Justin's heart squeezed excruciatingly. She couldn't wait to get away from him. So he just shook his head and like his memories before tried to push the pain away. Then he went back to playing his guitar.

He was still sitting there an hour later when she came back down and grabbed her bag. "I'm going out. Another date." and she flashed him a grin that he couldn't place the meaning behind. Was she showing off that she had another date or showing off that it wasn't him? "Tell mom and dad not to wait up. I don't know when I'll be in." She winked at him once and Justin responded with an astounded look and then she was gone from view.

Justin replayed the quick conversation over in his mind. She was trying to get a rise out of him. Wasn't she? She'd even left the door to the loft open. It was like she was begging him to follow her. Either that or Justin surmised he was going crazy because of her. Quickly he jumped off the couch and jotted down a note for their parents that said, 'Going out for last minute presents. Alex went on a date. Be back later. Justin.' Then he grabbed a jacket off the coat stand and headed out. He rushed down the stairs, having no clue which way his sister went. When he reached the street he walked to the front of the substation and looked up and down Waverly Place.

Past the salad place that still needed to be filled after it went out of business because of Max, he spotted her head. He could spot her anywhere. Starting after her, he maintained a careful distance so that she couldn't see him and accuse him of following her. Which if Justin was being honest, he was doing. He could try and justify his actions but being a good older brother was his not his only intention. Separately but together Justin and Alex walked a half dozen blocks before stopping. Alex made a quick jump into a coffee shop and when she came out she was with Harper. Glancing up at the street sign, he realized they were on Harper's street. Both girls had coffee and were chatting happily as they headed down the block to Harper's apartment building.

So she wasn't going out on a date? Unless, she had something she needed to tell their parents, of course. Justin was confused but there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't go and knock on Harper's door to figure things out. He'd just have to ask her later, when she came home.

When he got back to the loft his parents and brother were already inside. They had closed early for the holiday Justin had noticed when he walked by.

"I thought you were out sweetheart." Theresa looked at him questioningly. "You don't have any bags."

"Yeah Mom, I came back because the comic book store was already closed. I realized I forgot to get something for Zeke but I can give him something later." Theresa just nodded in response and started setting up the table for dinner.

Jerry came into the kitchen and spied the note Justin had left. "She's out on a date?" he looked annoyed. "Only your sister would have a date on Christmas eve."

Yeah, only Alex would lie about having a date on Christmas Eve. Noting the bad timing, Justin realized they would have to hash things out as soon as possible.

It would be interesting when she came home to say the least.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: **The Secret Life of the Waverly Wizard** – Part 5 of ?  
Rating: R/ M just to be on the safe side  
Pairing/Characters: Alex/Justin – Jalex, other characters  
Warnings: AU, incest, underage drinking and I'm sure I'll think of more  
Summary: _When did it start? When exactly had he started looking at his annoying, spoiled, bratty, impulsive, adventurous, funny, dedicated, talented, beautiful, little sister as more than that, as a woman. _  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Wizards of Waverly Place. Goddess I wish!

An extra special thanks to Applepips16 for being an awesome beta and helping me out!

Since I haven't asked before I don't feel bad saying: **Comments Are Love!**

**----**

**---**

**--**

**-  
**

"So, have a good night with Harper?"

It was just after midnight and their parents and Max had gone to bed more than an hour before. Dinner had been nice but awkward considering a key member of their family was missing. Jerry had stewed in disappointment that his little girl had gone out on another date. Theresa agreed with her husband that Alex's judgment had been poor and she had an added annoyance in noting several of her sugar cookies were missing. But it was Christmas Eve so they had persevered through their hurt feelings to have a good evening. After the dishes had been cleaned and put away, eggnog and what was left of the cookies were passed out and enjoyed. They had even played some family games though charades was out of the question. To Justin's surprise it was Max who won monopoly even though he obviously had better managing and budgeting skills. After watching some television the three other members of his family slowly dispersed to their own rooms. Theresa was first, probably going over presents and doing any last minute wrapping. All the presents wouldn't be under the tree until the morning. After watching the football game on DVR Jerry had followed his wife to their bedroom. And then Max went up to his room after polishing off the last of the cookies. And while Justin had no clue what his brother would do once in his room, he was glad he was alone. He had grabbed a pillow and put it against the arm rest so he could lie across the couch and face the door. He was going to wait for Alex. Luckily he hadn't had to wait too long.

She stopped halfway in the door when she heard his voice and her eyes met his. Her hair looked like when she left, not messed up and wild like when she usually came back from her dates. Nor were her lips swollen and chapped and her clothes, what few there were, were completely in place. She hadn't been on a date, Justin was sure. Usually she came back a mess, never trying to clean up for their parent's sake. She wore her wrinkled clothes and frizzy hair as a badge of honor, so no one doubted where'd she'd been and what she'd been doing. Justin wondered if she came back the last few nights like this but he'd never waited up to see for himself.

"Psh, I wasn't with Harper. I was at a party with some people from school." She paused briefly and then added, "My date met me there," almost as an afterthought. She rolled her eyes at him and continued all the way into the loft. She locked the door behind her and then hooked her bag on the coat stand. When she turned back to him her eyes were sure and confident and, if Justin wasn't completely positive he'd seen her with Harper, he might have believed her.

"I know you're lying."

In one long stride she was at his end of the couch, gripping the backrest. Her knuckles turned white. "Did you follow me?" she seethed in a low voice.

"I was going to the comic book store; had to get something for Zeke," he tried. But he was never as good at lying at she was. She saw through him immediately.

"What is wrong with you?" she questioned, glaring at him.

"Wrong with me? You went out on Christmas Eve! Do you have any idea how much that hurt mom and dad? You couldn't even spend the holiday with us."

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it."

Justin didn't know what to say. He'd been going over everything is his head since his family had gone to bed but now with Alex there in front of him, she took his breath away, along with all thought and reason. When he didn't respond right away, Alex's face contorted further in anger and she turned away from him. She was breathing hard; Justin could tell by the way she swayed where she stood. Still he didn't say anything and slowly she turned back to face him. It had taken her a moment but her face was calm and waiting for an explanation. Justin was surprised by this new maturity since she normally screamed like a banshee. In face of it all he smiled softly.

"I love you. I've loved you for a long time," he said simply.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you love me. I'm your sister, you have to. But that doesn't explain anything. It doesn't explain the kiss." Her voice was low, like she was afraid of someone else hearing them.

"It explains everything; you're just too stubborn to listen to me." Justin got up from the couch. Even though Alex backed away from him, he goes to stand in front of her. "I love you Alex. Yes, more then I should but I love you." He reached out to touch her arm and while she flinched slightly she didn't move out of his reach. "You get under my skin and you drive me crazy almost every minute that we're together. You mess things up all the time. You don't go to class and think that rules never apply to you. You manipulate and lie and cheat and… ditch Christmas dinner with your family." Alex didn't look at him so Justin letgo of her arm and reached up to move some hair out of her eyes, his fingers grazing her forehead gently in the process. She immediately jerked her head up and Justin used the moment to capture her gaze. "And somehow it always works out for you. You're smart and confident. You could do anything if you put your mind to it." He pauses again, trying to read her. She is tense and frustrated, not wanting to hear what he is saying. But Justin has to keep going. "I also think that you are the most beautiful young woman I've ever seen. And it kills me when you go out in something like this," he looks down at her legs and Alex's gaze follows his and then back up again. "You go out in clothes like this and everyone gets to see how sexy you are and there's nothing I can do about it. I just want to hide you away from any other guy. Ugh, and when you say you're going on a date, I want to hex him into the next week. I never want anyone else looking at you. Yes, its part big brother but there's more to it. And now you know... I love you. "

Alex's jaw clenched for a second before she pushed him away. She scratched at her face and arm like she was trying to rip away the skin where he touched her. She moved past him and reaches the bottom stair before turning around. "You don't get to tell me things like this. You don't get to love me, not like this," she gesturedto the space between, "I don't know if you've had too much egg nog or if you've just been smoking too much pot at school or whatever and I don't care. There is some wrong shit going on in your head. I'm your _sister_. This is messed up, don't you see that?" She was obviously angry but there was something else, disbelief, like she thought this was some prank. She thought he was making it all up. But then she had never put much credit into other people's feelings.

Alex turned her back to him and headed up to her room.

Staring at her back, Justin pulled out his wand. "_Since she doesn't seem to hear, let her know that I'm sincere_." He knew the magic worked on her, saw her pause briefly on the stairs. But she didn't turn back to him, just continued to her destination. He heard her door shut.

Justin gripped his wand tightly, shocked. She had just dismissed him, dismissed everything he said and everything he felt. He had imagined how all of this would go down, how she might run to their parents and confess everything, how she might use magic to forget or turn him into a gerbil. But he hadn't thought she'd just renounce him.

There had been nights where he had carelessly fantasized about her coming to his room and declaring her love for him. He imagined them running away, giving their powers to Max, and being happy together.

But they were siblings.

His dreams—pipe dreams albeit had all come crashing down and none of them had prepared him for this.

This pain was so much worse than what he experienced in August; knowing she just didn't care at all. She was right it was about it being messed up; he'd known that from the beginning. But still he had expected something different than this, maybe acceptance and some sort of understanding.

Even though Alex had left him, Justin felt compelled to keep talking to her, maybe make her understand that he couldn't control his feeling much like he couldn't control the weather (unless he wanted Mother Nature to punish him again). So he followed her upstairs and stopped outside her door. Like before he seemed to suddenly lose his nerve and couldn't bring himself to knock on the door. But it didn't seem the matter because it opened quickly and Alex walked right into him, not realizing he was there. She started to fall back but Justin grabbed her arms to keep her from getting hurt. She had already changed into her pajamas and Justin was amazed at how quick she'd been. And he was distracted by her smooth skin and the curve of her neck that was visible since her hair was now up in a loose ponytail.

Looking at her face Justin saw that her eyes were watery and that some mascara had run down her face. Her anger had turned into agony and he pushed her back into her room lest they make a commotion in the hallway.

"You're crying…" he pointed out and Alex responded by rolling her eyes.

"Wouldn't you be upset if your sibling, someone you looked up to, cared about, suddenly told you they were in love with you? I don't know what you expect me to do with this information Justin." She rips her arms from his grasp. "You're my brother. I'm your sister. I can't feel the same way as you."

"Can't or won't?" Justin wasn't sure what he was asking or why. She was being pretty clear and everything he forced her to reiterate just hurt him more.

"Both! We are flesh and blood. We share parents, Max, memories… magic. I love you Justin but I can't love you the way you want me to. We already share too much to be more."

Alex didn't struggle when Justin pulled her forward and wraps his arms around her. Through all of this he still relished holding her and having her skin touch his own. Alex's tears continued and he felt them fall onto his neck. But to be honest, Justin felt dampness in his own eyes. He was hurting her so much. He never should have given into himself and kissed her. He never should have felt this way; he should have kept dating other girls and pushed any feelings out the window. He should have kept his sister, _his sister._

He wondered if their relationship would always be like this now, this fractured version of what they once were.

"I'm sorry Alex."

"So am I."


	6. Chapter 6

Title: **The Secret Life of the Waverly Wizard** – Part 6 of ?  
Rating: R/ M just to be on the safe side  
Pairing/Characters: Alex/Justin – Jalex, other characters  
Warnings: AU, incest, underage drinking and I'm sure I'll think of more  
Summary: _When did it start? When exactly had he started looking at his annoying, spoiled, bratty, impulsive, adventurous, funny, dedicated, talented, beautiful, little sister as more than that, as a woman. _  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Wizards of Waverly Place. Goddess I wish!

An extra special thanks to Applepips16 for being an awesome beta and helping me out!

This chapter is now edited :)

**Comments are Love!**

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--

-

"You never let anything stand in the way of something you want. And tonight, just for right now, I'm going to follow your example."They were still standing in Alex's room. Justin had his arms wrapped around her while hers were still awkwardly by her sides. He purposely lost track of time, knowing however long they stood like this, it wouldn't be enough.

"I promise, never again." He stepped back from her and waited, waited for her to push him away. When she didn't right away he took that as a sign of consent so he leaned forward. His lips brushed hers and the kiss was soft and sweet and could almost be considered innocent if it wasn't between them. He kisses her again, harder this time, and it contained some of the leashed passion he'd lost control of in August. He swept his tongue into her mouth and tackled her while pulling her body back to him. It was amazing how her body melded in to his, with one of her thighs between his legs. She still didn't raise her arms to touch him but she reacted to the kiss positively. A possessive fire burned inside Justin. He didn't want this to end and didnt want this to be the last kiss they shared, but he'd already promised and he couldn't keep hurting her by fulfilling his own needs.

He was hurting both of them by doing that.

So when he couldn't breathe anymore and he felt like he was sucking life right out of her, he stopped. He stopped and stepped back, breaking them apart and while he physically ached at the loss of her heat, her smell, her touch, he did it anyways, for her.

He stepped away from her so completely that within one step he had done his best to bury this part of himself. He couldn't let it exist anymore. He wanted her to be his but not at this expense.

When he looked back at her, her face was flushed and her lips were swollen. Her eyes were still closed even though he was no longer in her personal space. She didn't look as pained as she did before he hugged and kissed her. She looked almost calm and that took a tremendous weight off Justin's shoulder. Unsure of what to do next Justin slowly backed away to door. When she heard it open Alex opened her eyes and met his gaze. She smiled softly at him before getting into bed, pulling her blankets up to her chin, and settling her head on her pillow.

"Good night," he mouthed to her before she closed her eyes. Then Justin flicked the light switch off and closed the door to his sister.

-

The next morning a tentative calm seemed to have settled on Justin and his family. When Alex had come down, last of course because she needed her beauty sleep, she had been all hugs and smiles when she magicked her presents to appear under the tree. Justin was sure she was acting like this to assuage their parent's anger since they had missed her last night. And from the look of the hugs she was receiving, he was right. Aside from the normal Christmas cheer, Theresa and Jerry were thrilled their elder children were getting along, after never getting used to the tension and sometimes open hostility they had been privy to the last few months.

Everyone was gathered in the living room surrounded by an array of colors on ripped up wrapping paper. Alex was covered in paper going as far to have some tangled in her hair; she'd been so excited to receive her gifts. She had more paper around her because some of her presents had been fairly large, like a new easel and some more canvases. She also had the most paper because she had enjoyed giving herself gifts. Aside from her art supplies she now had a few new scarves, a pair of boots, and some earrings.

Justin was happy with his haul. Max had gotten him a new robot building kit. While thanking him, Justin still tried to play it off, he was in college, too old for robots. But they all knew better. They knew if the sub shop wasn't too busy for the rest of his holiday break, he might complete it before going back to school. From his parents he had gotten a multitude of magazine subscriptions for both the mortal and wizarding world. They covered topics like chess, chess against robots, monster hunting, and more. They had also gotten him some new clothes and the new Tears of Blood cd.

He was organizing the subscriptions in alphabetical order when he noticed Alex had one more present to open. Berating himself gently, Justin realized it was his present for her that she had inadvertently saved for last. He should have realized sooner that she hadn't gotten to it yet and he readied himself for her response.

For her part, Alex didn't seem to know who the present was from. To her, it was just another carefully wrapped box with her name on it. She didn't bother noticing the name underneath. She tore at the paper, destroying it in less time than it had taken for Justin's spell to wrap it in the first place. Then the simple box was tossed to the side and Alex held her gift. Initially the picture frame was turned downwards so Max and their parent's interest wasn't spiked until she turned it over. As Alex did so they leaned in to see what the image was.

At first no emotion crossed her face and Justin clenched his fists in anticipation, fearing she would hate it. It was one his favorite photos. Over the years he had taken many photos that he treasured and kept framed in his room. Some photos of his family he had taken to college with him but others imaging Zeke and the guys from Alien Language Club, or the World Leader Summit, or graduation were safely admired in his bedroom. Although, he had taken the one photo of him and Bibi Rockford with him to school in the hopes of making him cool with his roommate. (It was too bad he knew that she was a copy from his wall, but no one else needed to know that.)

This one in particular that he was giving to Alex was one from their family vacation. It one of a few that was just the two of them and to top it off it was taken just a few hours after everything had been set straight by the Stone of Dreams. Since Alex had declined going to hotel party, the whole family had spent the rest of the day doing numerous activities and by dinner that night everyone was pretty tuckered out. Well not he and Alex, Justin remembers. There was just something about nearly not existing that kept an annoying amount of adrenaline in your system long after the fear was gone. Justin still wondered how Max was able to sleep so easily that night when he was so wound up. So he and Alex had gone down to the beach, far from the bar and loud music and sat down in the sand, _just the two of them_. The waves were crashing up the coast and every once in a while one would reach up and tickle their toes. He'd known they didn't have much time until high tide so he did his best to enjoy the last bits of the day. After everything he and Alex hadn't fought about anything and she still hadn't returned to her teasing ways. He wasn't sure he'd still be so lucky the next morning. (If he remembered correctly, they might have made it to lunch before things went back to normal.) Even though they were far from the party, an employee came over to them and offered to take their picture for money. The man probably assumed that he and Alex were dating but since he never said anything there was no reason to justify why it wasn't okay when Alex put her head on Justin's shoulder or when he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Sure it was stupid to buy a picture from a vendor but they were on vacation and in a good mood. So they smiled up at the man and '_click_' Justin's favorite picture from the trip was available for pick up the next morning.

Why had they only gotten one copy? Well, because Alex was cheap and insisted that Justin pay and when he realized that he only had enough for one, Alex had stopped caring about it completely. She had walked away and joined the rest of the family and probably never thought about the picture again.

But she was thinking about it now, remembering that night when everything was just right. When there were still no crazy emotions between them or at least she didn't have knowledge about them. This time, when they were still kids, if they had problems their parents could bail them out. When struggling between what was right and wrong wasn't such a big deal.

Alex stared down at the picture silently and Justin continued to fret about her response. Since their daughter still hadn't said anything, Jerry and Theresa started cleaning up the living room, grabbing a garbage bag and tossing empty boxes and torn wrapping paper into it. Max, like Justin, still had his eyes trained on his sister, trying to understand why one photo could cause her to go mute. But he was losing patience and kept looking from her to their parents and back again. So he missed her wipe away a stray tear that had managed to escape her eye. All he saw was the forced smile she put in place before she met Justin's eyes.

"Thank you," she said simply, holding the frame close to her. Then she forced a laugh before saying, "I didn't get you anything." Justin and Max rolled their eyes. This was common enough considering over the years Alex had given all her family members necklaces, earrings, and other girly things that she would just take back for herself.

"That doesn't really surprise me," Justin responded, light in tone.

"Alex, honey," Theresa chimed in, "That's not very nice. It is Christmas after all."

"Don't worry Mom. I'll make it up to him for his birthday."

"Yea, like you even know when my birthday is." Justin shook his head, a smirk on his face.

"Well I wouldn't, but you always insist on circling the date in permanent marker on all my calendars. You even put it in my cell phone."

"I should try that! Last year I got a card three weeks late and no present. And that's bunk." Max huffed, sitting on the couch with some paper Jerry had missed and a glue stick.

And just like that all the tension really was gone. Yes, Justin had seen all of Alex's reaction to his gift but they had fallen back into their normal banter so effortlessly that it was easy to not ask her about it. Besides, he knew what it was tied to, what had happened last night and back in August. But his promise the night before hadn't just been a promise that he wouldn't kiss her again, it was a promise to do his best to stop hurting her. And making her admit that his gift had caused her to act girly and get misty eyed, would hurt her and her pride. So he let it go and did his best to enjoy the rest of the day and start his new robot.

The rest of their break was easy and fun, more like before, though he and Alex didn't spend as much time together. But now they were able to get through working together and they did watch a movie one night like they used to. But unlike the days where Alex would lounge across the couch, to the point where her legs would be across Justin's lap, now they were at different end of the couch, separated by a bowl of popcorn. At least now Alex shared.

Before he knew it, break was over and Justin was packing to go back to school. He wasn't ready to go back, not when he and Alex were mending their relationship. It would never be like it was; he was smart enough to know that. But what it was obviously hadn't really worked for him considering what he felt for his sister. Spending time with her hurt, he wanted to touch her, even the casual contact they had before the summer would be nice, and it didn't have to be intimate. But he could survive without touching her so long as she didn't breeze through his life like he didn't exist.

--

Like in August, he was up early to catch the train. Theresa and Jerry were already downstairs eating breakfast and Max was getting ready to go to school. He hiked his duffle bag over his shoulder and headed for the staircase. Alex was waiting for him in the hall.

"You're coming to the train station with me?"

"Psh, yea right. I'm going back to bed." Alex smirked at him. "I'm just up cause I heard you banging around. Can't you pack quietly?"

"I'll try harder next time, your highness," Justin retorted, shaking his head slightly.

They stood there awkwardly for a moment before Alex said, "Have a good semester." She stepped closer to him and reached up on her tiptoes to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. Then stepping back, she moved into her doorframe.

Justin was momentarily dazed but fortunately not enough to miss the muttered, "I love you," that passed Alex's lips. He grinned brightly at her, clearing understanding her meaning.

"I love you too Alex." He stood there another moment even after she went into her room and closed her door. Then he went downstairs, had some breakfast, and went with his parents to the train station.

* * *

Don't forget: Comments Are Love :)


	7. Chapter 7

Not betaed so all errors are mine. I will try and update more frequently.

* * *

They don't talk for a long time after the break. He can't bring himself to email her or call. He corresponds with the rest of his family, even sending a quick hello to Harper to see how her classes are going. His parents don't ask nor do they bring up their little girl. They still don't know what caused the rift between their oldest children, which Justin counts himself lucky for. He can't imagine what would happen if they found out. Occasionally Max mentions their sister; so Justin hears how Alex doesn't come home some nights and how after the first time Theresa had to forced anti-anxiety pills down Jerry's throat because he was so worried.

No one brings up magic or the competition. If he's honest with himself Justin knows he's out of practice. It's hard to find a safe place to practice when he's so far from the sub shop. He knows something has to change if he wants to win.

It is nearly two months after their somewhat reconciliation when his phone rings in the middle of the night. Without looking at the caller id Justin gets up and walks into the bathroom so he won't bother his roommate. Turing on the light, he blinks rapidly as his eyes adjust. Then he flips open his phone and before he can get in a 'hello,' a slurred voice interrupts, "You kissed me."

"Alex… you ok?" Hearing her voice makes his legs feel like jelly and he leans heavily on the door before crumpling and sitting on the floor. Running a hand through his hair, he leans forward and presses his forehead against his knees. "Alex, are you ok?" he asks again.

"You kissed me," is the only response.

"Yes I did."

There's a long pause and twice Justin checks the phone to see if she's hung up on him. Finally Alex continues. "Part of me hates you," she whispers and Justin feels his heart plummet. "But part of me wants you to do it again."

"Again?" Justin hears his voice crack and realizes he responded before he thought of something better to say. He clears his throat. "Again?" apparently he has nothing better to say.

"Yes, again. I remember what your lips felt like against mine…" He hears rustling over the phone and Alex pauses.

"Where are you?"

"In bed. I just got back from a rave with Harper and some other friends from school. I had to throw my clothes in the wash so Mom and Dad wouldn't know I was smoking pot."

Justin stops listening and lets out a groan. His mind has completely bypassed the idea of his little sister smoking pot and has conjured an image of her lying in bed in just her bra and panties. Justin physically shakes his head, mentally willing the image out of his ear and onto the bathroom floor where it belongs. After everything that's happened he's tried to move past his feelings but obviously nothing has changed.

She must have heard his groan or at least assumed that his mind had gone to the gutter and her next comment confirms this, "You're thinking about me aren't you?"

"Of- of course not." 'Damnit!' Justin cursed internally, as his voice cracked again. "I'm thinking about other things. Things that are completely unrelated to you." Her laughter catches him off guard.

"You seriously are the worst liar."

"Yeah, I know," he admitted.

"So you are thinking about me?" she taunted in response.

"Well you were thinking about me," the words rushed out of his mouth as he tries to counter and he's proud he thought of a response as at. "If you weren't you wouldn't have called."

"Yeah dummy... I called you..."

"Right..." he didn't have a response to that. Four years on Tribeca Prep's debate team didn't prepare him for this.

"So," Alex questioned, "Do you think about me often? Do you think about me, our kiss, when you're walking to class? Do you think about me when you're listening to your professors' lecture? What about when you're with your friends?" Her voice got lower with each question. Then barely above a whisper she continued, "Do you think about me when you're alone; when you have your hand around your cock? Is my name on your lips? Are you thinking about my body?"

"Alex!" Justin grit out suddenly realizing that he was palming himself through his pajama bottoms.

Undaunted, Alex continued, "Are you touching yourself now?"

"Alex please-" He was so hard; the softest caress of his cotton pants had his hands trembling and his heart racing.

"You are!" Alex crowed on the other end of the line. He could picture her in her bed, smiling smug. And that's when Justin realized this had to be a dream. He had to be dreaming because there was no way that Alex could actually be happy that she got a rise out of him, no pun intended. She couldn't actually be on the phone with him, baiting him. No she had been disgusted by the kiss. This had to be a dream.

Didn't it?

Justin wasn't about to let hope fill his mind. 'No!' he thought, squashing the feeling that was steadily growing in his chest.

"Alex, I'm going back to bed now." Dream or not, he figured he should at least be comfortable in his bed.

"No wait!" There was a strange desperation in Alex's voice; one, Justin wasn't sure he'd ever heard before. She'd never sounded like that with Riley or Mason or any other guy that had the fortune, or sometimes misfortune, to fall into Alex's gaze. Maybe this wasn't a dream, Justin mused because he knew his imagination or subconscious couldn't have created the emotion in his sister's voice.

"Please Justin, don't hang up."

"Ok." He couldn't pretend he was only staying for her benefit, not when his erection throbbed its annoyance at being ignored. His internal argument had done nothing to ease the desire he felt. Just her voice did so much to him. Neither of them said anything for a long moment and then just to break the silence Justin asked, "What do you want from me?" He wasn't sure what he expected her to say or if he even really wanted her to answer but anything had to be better than the silence.

"I don't know." For all the tale tales and straight out lies Alex had put him through over the years, he had no trouble hearing the sincerity in her voice. "I wanted to call you a bunch of times. To yell at you, tell you how sick I am to always be thinking of you, about what happened. And I do think about you often. Though, maybe not as much as you think of me," the innuendo in plain sight. "And then after a while I-" she falters. "I wasn't upset anymore, not disgusted anymore. We've always had a strange relationship. The wizard competition changed us into something different. And I-" she faltered again and Justin could practically hear her head buzzing as she sorted through her words. "I can't imagine not having you in my life. No matter what, I can't be like Meg and cut you out of my life. I can't Justin. Please... Please don't make me."

"No one has ever been able to make you do something you didn't want to do," Justin pointed out. Alex let out a breathy laugh.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

Sitting on the floor isn't comfortable so Justin shifts before leaning his head against the door and closing his eyes. "What do you want from me?" he asks again.

"I want you to kiss me."

Her voice sounds to close, to clear to be over the phone. Justin's eyes pop open as he realizes his little sister is suddenly next to him. How he didn't feel the flutter of magic as she appeared in the cramped bathroom, but he didn't and she is there next to him, her hands resting on his thigh. Justin makes a point of looking her straight in the eye because his imagination had been right. She is wearing a purple polka dotted bra and matching panties.

"Well?"

"Well what?" Justin licks his lips. He is memorized as Alex mimics the action, her pink tongue flicking out for just a second before disappearing behind her lips. Absently, he noticed the sparkle on her lips and realizes she's wearing her favorite lip-gloss; the one she only wears when she is going on dates.

"You asked me what I wanted and I told you. So are you gonna put your money where your mouth is?" She grins at her little joke.

"Alex I don't think-" he doesn't get to say any more, her glossed lips effectively cutting him off. He doesn't struggle, not even for a second. Considering she was the one who initiated the kiss, he figured he wasn't breaking his promise. He's lost in everything that is Alex – the way her body molds perfectly to his even though they are on the bathroom floor, the faint smell of herbal essences in her hair (he smells pot too, the scent clinging to her almost as much as he is), and the softness of her skin as he touches her cheek.

This is easily the greatest moment of his life, better than every robot he completed, better than being class president senior year, better than losing his virginity to his physics teacher's assistant freshman year. The only thing that could possibly beat this would be winning the competition and becoming the family wizard. But in that moment Justin knew it didn't matter because like his father he would give up magic for the one he loved. He was smart enough, not so caught up in the moment to voice this revelation, knowing it would scare her away. She may have to come to him on her own but he knew it had taken some liquid courage. He could take the alcohol on her tongue when she thrust it into his mouth to mingle with his. The last thing he wanted was to do/say something stupid that would put them three steps back.

They continued to kiss for several moments, each learning the curve and feel of the other's mouth. His hand slowly travels from her cheek to her almost bare shoulder. His fingers play along the curve of her bra straps. He moves his hands lower until they are at the small of her back. He feels her tense against him but instead of removing his hands he continues to move them lightly against her skin. She is ticklish there and starts to squirm. He doesn't torture her long because a tickle war isn't worth losing her lips against his. Justin brings his hands back up to cup her face, stopping only momentarily to brush her arms that are wrapped around his neck.

He can't believe this is happening. Alex's hands have begun to wander as well. Like when he tickled her, Justin freezes when her hand ghosts along the waistband of his sweatpants. But before anything more than kissing can even be contemplated there is a bang at the door.

"Dude, you gonna be in there all night?"

Immediately Alex and Justin spring apart. After several deep breaths Justin croaks, "Just a second Craig. Just a second."

"Yeah. Ok man."

"Your roommate sounds like a doofus," Alex whispers as she stands up. Justin follows her move and stands on shaky legs. He's been on the floor too long and his butt tingles back to life. He stretches before pulling Alex as far away from the door as possible.

"You have to go home," he urges but isn't surprised when she ignores him. Alex shrugs her shoulders and moves back towards the door, her hand on the handle.

"Or I could just stay here."

"No like that you can't!" He gestures wildly at her state of dress or lack there of. Always a step ahead of his Alex mutters a spell and pajamas appear in front of her. She shows some modesty as she turns away from him to take of her bra and slip the pajama top over her head. She pulls some boxer shorts on and Justin feels jealousy grip his heart. No one should be able to look at her shapely legs but him.

"Better?" Alex asks as she turns back to him. Justin just nods.

"Dude, seriously! What are you doing in there?"

"Sorry my fault," Alex says pleasantly as she opens the door.

Craig looks from Alex to Justin back to Alex, confusion clear across his face. "And you are?"

"Alex," is her only reply as she exits the bathroom. Craig's eyes follow Alex as she moves and Justin has never been closer to punching someone. To occupy himself and keep from murdering his roommate Justin exits the bathroom as well. He goes and sits on his bed, hoping that Craig would just let it all go and proceed with his business. It is the middle of the night after all, and Justin is suddenly tired. Alex nudges her brother so she can shift the blanket and climb into bed. Of course she hogs it and the pillow as she lays down facing the wall. Craig still looks confused but manages to give Justin a grin and wink before heading into the bathroom.

With the bathroom door closed, Justin lays down, his back to his sister. It is warm with her body next to him but he wishes she'd share the blanket. He wants to shift to his other side, throw an arm around her waist, and burry is face in her neck but he doesn't. Apparently Alex wants the same thing when she demands, "Be the big spoon damnit!" Quickly he acquiesces but he also pulls more of the blanket over him, forcing her to share.

"Mom and Dad are going to freak if you're not there in the morning." He whispers into her ear.

"Yeah right. They're used to this." Alex snuggles deeper into the pillow and her hair tickles Justin's nose. "You're such a worrywart. Besides I could always tell them the truth, that I missed my big brother," she says the last part in a baby voice. Justin rolls his eyes.

"Go to sleep." Justin sighs and relaxes a smidgen. He knows Craig has no idea who Alex is as they have never met before and Justin doesn't keep any pictures of his family out for everyone to see. And he's sure Ale has already come up with some wild story to cover for her being there.

The bathroom door opens again and Justin hears a click as Craig shuts off the bathroom light. The room is now completely dark and Justin's eyes start to get heavy, ready to close for a few more hours. Before sleep completely claims him, Justin kisses Alex's neck and pulls her slightly closer to him. Like in the bathroom, she molds perfectly to his body. And with that happy thought, he falls asleep.

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Comments are love :)


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